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Can't remember the last time we were so inept, although my neighbour, who I watched the game with, assures me that we were just about as bad against Bolton which I missed due to being on the piss in Wales.
TV Coverage from our Portugese compatriates: 3/10. Lovely replays of everything they did, missed loads. But steady picture!
Bag of s***e.
Copy from Yorkshire Evening Post of 21/09/2001.
EUROPEAN minnows Maritimo caused a major upset last night as the underdogs from Madeira beat UEFA Cup favourites United.
A bizarre goal from midfielder Bruno was enough to deal Leeds a big blow in the opening round of this UEFA Cup contest. With the second instalment less than a week away, Leeds boss David O'Leary knows his side will need to show much more if they are to make it past the opening hurdle.
Two years of reaching European semi-finals had heightened the expectation levels from supporters who fully expect to see Leeds wipe the floor with teams like Maritimo.
But it was never going to be the case here last night as sluggish Leeds were beaten far too easily by a side who worked hard and were well-organied but should have perished against the Premiership leaders.
United skipper Rio Ferdinand was not backward in his comments following the match.
"The boys are disappointed because we know that we did not play well, it has been a poor performance, we did not do the basics and we have got punished," he said.
"We cannot um and ah about why things did not work for us, the simple fact of the matter is that we did not play well on the night and they did. Give them credit where it is due.
"However, we know that we can do a lot better than that and we will have to make sure that we pull our socks up for the home leg. We are lucky that it is only half-time and that we have the chance to turn it around. We have got to prove our worth.
"People want to think that we have come here expecting to beat them easily and be complacent about it. That is not true, we have simply not played well and you can imagine what the manager said to us after the game."
With the twinkling lights of the Madeiran mountainside setting a picturesque backdrop, United were made to toil in the muggy late summer air.
Many Brits come to the island for a holiday but this match was far from a vacation for the Leeds boys as the unfashionable Portuguese outfit took the game to their Premier League opponents.
Most expected a tough examination from the hosts but nobody ever dreamed that Leeds would actually lose the tie and put their European future in doubt.
Throughout the 90 minutes, United showed little in the way of urgency or creativity. They were simply awful and know that a much better display will be required if they are to turn the tables and make it into the second round.
To be fair, United should prove too strong when the two teams meet again at Elland Road in a week's time. It would be unthinkable that O'Leary's boys could actually be knocked out by this side.
It is doubtful that O'Leary will have any more of his injured stars back for the clash and he knows Maritimo will be happy to sit back and try to hit United on the break or with set pieces.
Videos of the home side had pre-warned United of Maritimo's preference to the odd long-shot on goal and after a very slow opening 20 minutes they finally saw that threat first hand.
David Batty was penalised for high kicking and Brazilian Dinda had only one thing on his mind as he stepped up to place the ball 35 yards from goal. His effort had pace and direction but Nigel Martyn was equal to it as he dived across to his right to palm the ball away.
United did not force their first corner until the 21st minute and as frustrations took hold Steve McPhail was booked for a foul on Dinga four minutes later.
Maritimo found the net in the 34th minute although scorer Bruno could not have known too much about it.
He floated in a free-kick from 40 yards out, it missed the head of defender Van der Gaag and dropped limply into the far corner of the net past the unsighted Martyn. It sent the home fans wild and sewed the first seeds that perhaps there was a real shock on the cards.
The home side should have doubled their lead minutes later as a hopeful punt up-field was left by Danny Mills, Martyn stayed on his line and Quim nipped in between the two but ballooned his effort high over the bar from six yards out.
Andre then saw a 37th minute effort saved by Martyn and even though Ian Harte saw a free-kick acrobatically palmed away by Nelson, it was the home side who finished the half in the ascendancy.
O'Leary no doubt had some stiff words at half-time for his players, however, they seemed to have no effect as Leeds once again looked sluggish in their play.
Jason Wilcox was brought on in place of McPhail just before the hour but still it was the Portuguese who looked most likely to score as Quim powered a left-foot shot across goal that Martyn beat away with a great save.
Sub Wilcox was thrust out on the left wing as Kewell moved into a central role alongside Batty and it was the former Blackburn winger who set up United's best chance.
His deep cross found Mills at the far post and Nelson needed to be alert as he arched back to tip the defender's looping header over the bar. It was the best chance United were going to get as Maritimo looked the more likely side to score.
Bruno, Andre and Gaucho all had half chances to find the killer second goal but United's defence held firm.
Mark Viduka saw a late effort trundle wide of the target and Robbie Keane maybe should have scored as Batty put him through on goal but it was Maritimo who had the final say as Alan burst through the middle and, as the defence opened up in front of him, he only had Martyn to beat but fired his effort high over the bar.
Maybe United should count their blessings that the damage was not even greater and that they have the chance to fight another day in Europe.